The human brain is designed to look for danger in every situation. It’s a survival mechanism that was necessary to protect human’s 10,000 years ago, when we didn’t have toilet paper, laws and grocery stores. Ten thousand years ago our brains were looking for dangers like lions, tigers, poison berries and quick sand. But in today’s world focusing on “danger,” results in concentrating on the negative side of every situation and that can lead to a very unhappy and unproductive life.
Your first response to obstacles, negative people and general problems in your life may be to focus on the problem itself. This is the most primitive part of your brain at work. However, it’s up to you to retrain your brain to focus on solutions instead of “danger” and problems. No one just stumbles upon a happy, extraordinary life. Instead, an extraordinary life is created daily through your perceptions and then your actions. This requires awareness and practice in terms of which thoughts you focus on, the words you speak (and type in messages) and the actions you take everyday. We all have the choice over what we focus on. One of the guarantees in life is that we will face problems and obstacles and people we don’t agree with in our lives. But one more guarantee is that if we look for solutions we will find them!
When I opened Mo-Mentum Fitness I was overwhelmed and REALLY tired after the first year of 15-hour days 7 days a week. Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved what I do at Mo-Mentum, but I wasn’t bringing in the money to run the business as efficiently as I had envisioned. I was struggling money wise and that frustrated and scared me. I wanted to reach more people. I had big dreams to help more people transform their lives, but I wasn’t reaching my business goals and I was getting further into debt.
I would ask myself questions like, “Why can’t I figure this out?” “What’s wrong with me that I can’t run my business like a successful business woman.” I felt “stupid” so I called myself stupid. But, questions and words like these did nothing to help move Mo-Mentum Fitness forward. Instead my energy was directing into feeling sorry for myself, and sucked away from possible solutions. It didn’t take long to figure out that I was stuck because I was focused on my fears. My language reflected my lack of success and I stayed “stuck” while I dabbled in this wasteful emotion.
As soon as I changed my words, my questions and my perceptions my business changed. Nothing out side of me changed until I changed my own perceptions. Once I stopped wasting time beating myself up, I was able to see new options and solutions to my problems and Mo-Mentum Fitness began to thrive.
Where in your life do you find yourself complaining, beating yourself up or blaming others? You can’t change other people in your life, but you can chose to remove yourself from people who drain your energy. You can look for what you are doing right and do more of that instead of focusing on what you are doing wrong. Focus on what you can do to help others instead of focusing on what a joke American politics has become. Focus on solutions and not obstacles and watch the quality of your own life transform!
Before we go any further I’d like to state for the record that I am not a believer in “positive thinking.” Instead, I believe that your reality is based on your perception. Focusing on obstacles and problems will never solve problems. Beating yourself up, calling yourself names, focusing on what others are doing wrong, or focusing on parts of your problems that you can’t fix, will not only create more problems in your life, but will also suck your energy and drive out “hope.”
What helps solve problems and makes you feel better about your life is to find and focus on possible solutions and then take action. Even if those solutions don’t work, progress will ALWAYS make you feel better than sitting stagnantly in the middle of a problem or your own self-doubt. The trick is to focus on what you CAN DO not on what you can’t do.
The way we think tends to be a habit. People who are “mad,” tend to look for reasons to be mad. People who are “sad,” tend to look for reasons to be sad, and so on.
Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character and your character determines your destiny!
Your challenge today (or if you’re feeling brave try this for one week) is to focus and speak ONLY in positives and about solutions. Negative thoughts will show up in your head, but don’t speak them out loud and don’t type them in messages either. Instead, change your language to the positive. Try this for even one day and I guarantee you’ll feel like you had a great day today, despite any obstacles including crazy people.